Thursday, December 26, 2013
Im your handy man...
Today I built a knife rack for the kitchen. I have seen 24 inch knife racks on Amazon and Ebay for somewhat reasonable prices, but I use a lot of blades in the kitchen and wanted more space. So I went to Ace hardware, where a helpful dude got really excited about my project and gave me an idea or two. Our only issue was whether the magnet strip they had would hold the knives and as long as they are placed carefully it doesnt seem to have a problem with the weight. Plus its rubberized so it wont scratch the blades. There wont always be this many knives on it, I just wanted to see how many I could fit. There are hooks underneath for ladles, spatulas and the like. The steel will likely be replaced and hang below also. Any thoughts or ideas are welcome. Total cost of this: somewhere in the neighborhood of $5. Thats a nice neighborhood...
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Writing Prompt
I joined a subreddit on Reddit that has writing prompts, someone posts a story idea and everyone who wants to can write about it. This one was recently posted and is of interest to me so I thought I would give it a shot:
"Order! Order in my courtroom or I will have you all taken out and shot!" growled the judge, His Excellency Targno the Hutt. The courtroom immediately became silent and all the spectators found their seats. Targno was well known for not taking any shit in his courtroom, the defendant wasnt the only one who sometimes left in a box.
"Now, we have before us one Han Solo. Formerly a smuggler, charges today are murder in the first degree of a Master bounty hunter named Greedo, son of Greedo the Elder of the Tetsu clan, planet of Rodia. How do you plead, smuggler?"
"Objection, your honor!" shouted Han Solo's attorney before his scruffy Looking client could even open his mouth. "I object to my client being referred to as a smuggler. It biases the jury."
"Nonsense!" roared Targno. "Most of the jury here is well beyond biased already and some of them worked for your clients favorite boss Jabba, before his sad demise."
"Which I had nothing at all to do with" Han Solo helpfully added. He shot the jury a roguish smile and behind him his wife Leia rolled her eyes.
"Be that as it may," Targno grumbled, "we are here today to settle this murder matter once and for all. Now, the prosecution has presented its case so its your turn, counselor." Targno shot Solo's lawyer a look daring him to get out of line.
"Your Excellency," began Thoja Gantu, premiere defense lawyer in all of the nearby star systems, "We have but one witness. Our case will be short and to the point and will exonerate Mr Solo most judiciously."
"Begin!" Targno rumbled, taking a deep draw from his ever present hookah and eyeing one of the dancing slave girls that decorated his courtroom.
"Your Excellency, esteemed members of the jury, ladies, gentlemen and beings of all manner, my client acted in self defense. His very life was threatened by a not very smart Rodian who was trying to curry favor with the gangster Jabba the Hutt by kidnapping Mr Solo and holding him for ransom. Our witness will prove that this Rodian meant my client grievous bodily harm and that my client acted in self defense." stated Gantu, roaming around the courtroom as he gave his opening address to the jury and smiled at those who he assumed were female. He was almost never wrong in his assumptions.
"Enough!" Targno the Hutt roared, he had little patience for long and windy speeches. "Call your witness and lets get on with this!"
Thoja Gantu cleared his throat and braced himself. He was about to take the biggest risk of his long and esteemed legal career.
"Your Excellency, the defense calls to the stand Mr George Lucas!" Gantu stated with a clear and strong voice that hid the fact that he was scared to death of losing this case.
A midsized and somewhat unattractive human male with grey hair and glasses rose from the front row of the courtroom seats and made his way to the witness stand. He hesitated, seemingly unsure of the protocol involved in a Hutt courtroom. The bailiff, a Gamorrean, grunted and motioned with his arg'garok axe for the witness to take the stand. George Lucas sat and made himself as comfortable as he could in the metal chair that served as a seat for the witnesses in the trial.
"Now, Mr Lucas, would you please describe for us your expertise in the situation surrounding Mr Solo and the vicious thug who attempted to murder him?" Thoja Gantu asked calmly.
"Well," began George Lucas, "I created this universe and everything and everyone in it but later rewrote parts of the already established universe for profit and wealth beyond the dreams of mortal man. This is when the whole issue of who shot first in this situation came up. As I originally wrote it, Mr Solo over there," Lucas nodded a Han Solo who shot him a wink and a nod, "was surely of superior intellect and skill to the little green dude who was trying to kidnap him for Jabba the Hutt. Solo of course realized the very second negotiations had gone as far as they could without gunplay and killed the Rodian in order to defend himself. The Rodian managed to get a shot off but it hit the wall behind Mr Solo. In my new version, I felt the fans of the story were too stupid to understand this and rewrote it so that the Rodian fired first and Mr Solo then blasted him dead. I..."
"Silence!" roared Targno the Hutt, shaking the plasticrete the walls of the room were made up of and bringing a shower of fine dust down on everyone. "Do you mean to say, Mr...what was your name? Lucas? What a stupid name for a male being! Do you mean to say Mr Lucas that Han Solo fired in self defense either way?"
"Well yes, I suppose so, but that isnt really the point." George Lucas said with a certain petulance in his voice.
"And you would claim, Mr Lucas, that you are the author of this entire reality?" Targno asked, a tone of disbelief ringing clearly in his voice.
"Yes," said George Lucas, "Yes, I am the creator of this entire universe and it was my right to change it as I wou..."
"Quiet!" snapped Targno. "I have never heard anything so preposterous! Mr Solo, you are hereby acquitted of all charges in this case as is my right as Judge in this case to declare!"
Han Solo looked back at his wife, "I told you so." He said with a nod and a smile.
"Mr Lucas," continued Targno, "You are obviously a delusional psychopath and a dangerously unintelligent being. I find you guilty of being so, as is my right as Judge, and order you to be fed to the bantha caged beneath this courtroom immediately. Bailiffs, seize him!"
Three large Gamorreans moved towards the witness stand and manhandled the now sobbing and screaming George Lucas out of the chair. They rushed him towards a slowly opening hole in the floor and pitched him in feet first. The howls and cries of George Lucas ended with a forcible release of air from his lungs as he his the floor of the bantha cage.
"Oooofff!" Lucas exclaimed as he bounced off of the floor. "Hey, you cant do this to me! This isnt the way I wrote things!" Lucas yelled upwards out of the hole as he watched Targno's antigrav sled glide to the side of the hole for a better view of the coming massacre.
A rustling noise behind him caught George Lucas' attention. He wheeled about and saw, to his horror, a creature of his own creation was charging through a raising gate and directly towards him. Lucas barely had time to scream before the teeth of the bantha closed around his midsection and he became bantha fodder as the judge had ordered.
"Good riddance! Imagine the nerve of this human to claim that he create all of this!" muttered Targno the Hutt.
"Yes, you have made the universe an overall better place this day." said the court stenographer, a brown nosed Mandalorian male.
"Indeed," grumbled Targno. "Lets break for lunch, shall we?" He slammed his gavel down and claimed the case over and announced a half hour recess for lunch.
Meanwhile, in a galaxy far, far away, a small green man living in a hut in the middle of a swamp started awake as if he had suffered a nightmare.
"Order! Order in my courtroom or I will have you all taken out and shot!" growled the judge, His Excellency Targno the Hutt. The courtroom immediately became silent and all the spectators found their seats. Targno was well known for not taking any shit in his courtroom, the defendant wasnt the only one who sometimes left in a box.
"Now, we have before us one Han Solo. Formerly a smuggler, charges today are murder in the first degree of a Master bounty hunter named Greedo, son of Greedo the Elder of the Tetsu clan, planet of Rodia. How do you plead, smuggler?"
"Objection, your honor!" shouted Han Solo's attorney before his scruffy Looking client could even open his mouth. "I object to my client being referred to as a smuggler. It biases the jury."
"Nonsense!" roared Targno. "Most of the jury here is well beyond biased already and some of them worked for your clients favorite boss Jabba, before his sad demise."
"Which I had nothing at all to do with" Han Solo helpfully added. He shot the jury a roguish smile and behind him his wife Leia rolled her eyes.
"Be that as it may," Targno grumbled, "we are here today to settle this murder matter once and for all. Now, the prosecution has presented its case so its your turn, counselor." Targno shot Solo's lawyer a look daring him to get out of line.
"Your Excellency," began Thoja Gantu, premiere defense lawyer in all of the nearby star systems, "We have but one witness. Our case will be short and to the point and will exonerate Mr Solo most judiciously."
"Begin!" Targno rumbled, taking a deep draw from his ever present hookah and eyeing one of the dancing slave girls that decorated his courtroom.
"Your Excellency, esteemed members of the jury, ladies, gentlemen and beings of all manner, my client acted in self defense. His very life was threatened by a not very smart Rodian who was trying to curry favor with the gangster Jabba the Hutt by kidnapping Mr Solo and holding him for ransom. Our witness will prove that this Rodian meant my client grievous bodily harm and that my client acted in self defense." stated Gantu, roaming around the courtroom as he gave his opening address to the jury and smiled at those who he assumed were female. He was almost never wrong in his assumptions.
"Enough!" Targno the Hutt roared, he had little patience for long and windy speeches. "Call your witness and lets get on with this!"
Thoja Gantu cleared his throat and braced himself. He was about to take the biggest risk of his long and esteemed legal career.
"Your Excellency, the defense calls to the stand Mr George Lucas!" Gantu stated with a clear and strong voice that hid the fact that he was scared to death of losing this case.
A midsized and somewhat unattractive human male with grey hair and glasses rose from the front row of the courtroom seats and made his way to the witness stand. He hesitated, seemingly unsure of the protocol involved in a Hutt courtroom. The bailiff, a Gamorrean, grunted and motioned with his arg'garok axe for the witness to take the stand. George Lucas sat and made himself as comfortable as he could in the metal chair that served as a seat for the witnesses in the trial.
"Now, Mr Lucas, would you please describe for us your expertise in the situation surrounding Mr Solo and the vicious thug who attempted to murder him?" Thoja Gantu asked calmly.
"Well," began George Lucas, "I created this universe and everything and everyone in it but later rewrote parts of the already established universe for profit and wealth beyond the dreams of mortal man. This is when the whole issue of who shot first in this situation came up. As I originally wrote it, Mr Solo over there," Lucas nodded a Han Solo who shot him a wink and a nod, "was surely of superior intellect and skill to the little green dude who was trying to kidnap him for Jabba the Hutt. Solo of course realized the very second negotiations had gone as far as they could without gunplay and killed the Rodian in order to defend himself. The Rodian managed to get a shot off but it hit the wall behind Mr Solo. In my new version, I felt the fans of the story were too stupid to understand this and rewrote it so that the Rodian fired first and Mr Solo then blasted him dead. I..."
"Silence!" roared Targno the Hutt, shaking the plasticrete the walls of the room were made up of and bringing a shower of fine dust down on everyone. "Do you mean to say, Mr...what was your name? Lucas? What a stupid name for a male being! Do you mean to say Mr Lucas that Han Solo fired in self defense either way?"
"Well yes, I suppose so, but that isnt really the point." George Lucas said with a certain petulance in his voice.
"And you would claim, Mr Lucas, that you are the author of this entire reality?" Targno asked, a tone of disbelief ringing clearly in his voice.
"Yes," said George Lucas, "Yes, I am the creator of this entire universe and it was my right to change it as I wou..."
"Quiet!" snapped Targno. "I have never heard anything so preposterous! Mr Solo, you are hereby acquitted of all charges in this case as is my right as Judge in this case to declare!"
Han Solo looked back at his wife, "I told you so." He said with a nod and a smile.
"Mr Lucas," continued Targno, "You are obviously a delusional psychopath and a dangerously unintelligent being. I find you guilty of being so, as is my right as Judge, and order you to be fed to the bantha caged beneath this courtroom immediately. Bailiffs, seize him!"
Three large Gamorreans moved towards the witness stand and manhandled the now sobbing and screaming George Lucas out of the chair. They rushed him towards a slowly opening hole in the floor and pitched him in feet first. The howls and cries of George Lucas ended with a forcible release of air from his lungs as he his the floor of the bantha cage.
"Oooofff!" Lucas exclaimed as he bounced off of the floor. "Hey, you cant do this to me! This isnt the way I wrote things!" Lucas yelled upwards out of the hole as he watched Targno's antigrav sled glide to the side of the hole for a better view of the coming massacre.
A rustling noise behind him caught George Lucas' attention. He wheeled about and saw, to his horror, a creature of his own creation was charging through a raising gate and directly towards him. Lucas barely had time to scream before the teeth of the bantha closed around his midsection and he became bantha fodder as the judge had ordered.
"Good riddance! Imagine the nerve of this human to claim that he create all of this!" muttered Targno the Hutt.
"Yes, you have made the universe an overall better place this day." said the court stenographer, a brown nosed Mandalorian male.
"Indeed," grumbled Targno. "Lets break for lunch, shall we?" He slammed his gavel down and claimed the case over and announced a half hour recess for lunch.
Meanwhile, in a galaxy far, far away, a small green man living in a hut in the middle of a swamp started awake as if he had suffered a nightmare.
1266 words. Completed 5:34am Sunday 15 December 2013
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Post the First
Today I worked on finding a way to mine Litecoin with my computer. I dont think I am going to be able to until I get a decent graphics card, something I have been wanting to do anyway.
Today I cleaned off the top of the chest freezer and put a lot of shit back where it belongs. I am going to try to plan our meals better and healthier so we dont eat out as much and spend less money. The freezer will hopefully play a good part in that once I find a nice butcher.
Today I cleaned our bathroom. I cleaned the sink area, the toiler and the tub. I hate our bathroom. There isnt enough room in there for someone half my size to be comfortable. When I sit on the toilet my knees are literally within inches of the cabinet under the sink. I cant get dressed in there, the floor is always cold and the tub is too small. One day I will have the perfect bathroom. It will be glorious.
Today I forgot to take my pills. I feel ashamed of that. Luckily not taking my pills is a rarity these days. I need to remember to take my pills. Its not an option not to.
Today I had a conversation with a girl I am having a first date with on Friday. We discussed movies, Doctor Who and the fact its both good and at the same time boring when the kids take off to go to grandma's. Im sort of nervous about the first date but I am hoping it goes well.
Today I cleaned off the top of the chest freezer and put a lot of shit back where it belongs. I am going to try to plan our meals better and healthier so we dont eat out as much and spend less money. The freezer will hopefully play a good part in that once I find a nice butcher.
Today I cleaned our bathroom. I cleaned the sink area, the toiler and the tub. I hate our bathroom. There isnt enough room in there for someone half my size to be comfortable. When I sit on the toilet my knees are literally within inches of the cabinet under the sink. I cant get dressed in there, the floor is always cold and the tub is too small. One day I will have the perfect bathroom. It will be glorious.
Today I forgot to take my pills. I feel ashamed of that. Luckily not taking my pills is a rarity these days. I need to remember to take my pills. Its not an option not to.
Today I had a conversation with a girl I am having a first date with on Friday. We discussed movies, Doctor Who and the fact its both good and at the same time boring when the kids take off to go to grandma's. Im sort of nervous about the first date but I am hoping it goes well.
Sunday, November 24, 2013
Its the new style!
The girl and I went to a very fun and informative gathering last night hosted by the Lafayette Alternative Lifestyles group, the guests were Dan and Dawn from the podcast Erotic Awakening. One of the things they talked about was keeping a sort of mini-journal about things you try and like or dont like, things that work or dont work. Im going to try that here and share it on Facebook and maybe Fetlife and see how it works.
Not everything will be kink related but there will be some stuff that is, Im sure. Im doing this to try and help me and stir my writing interest again. I have also joined a writing prompts subreddit on Reddit and may post those here when I write too.
So here we go.
Not everything will be kink related but there will be some stuff that is, Im sure. Im doing this to try and help me and stir my writing interest again. I have also joined a writing prompts subreddit on Reddit and may post those here when I write too.
So here we go.
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